When I first became a mother five years ago, I had absolutely no idea what I was in for. Of course I thought I did… I read the books and blogs, I talked to my doctor, and mom, aunts and friends, but until my baby girl arrived, there was really only so much I could do to prepare to become a mother.
Five years and two additional daughters later, I still don’t have this motherhood thing figured out. Oh sure, there are days I feel like I’m nailing it. And then there are days where it’s all I can do to get my teeth brushed. There’s crying and fighting, messes and spills, and talking. Oh my goodness, there is so. much. talking.
But in five short years, I’ve figured out there’s a way that I can ground myself in the midst of the chaos and sometimes sheer craziness of raising small children and this one simple act has truly transformed the way I mother. It instantly changes the mood in our home.
I light a candle. There’s something so beautiful, so deep, so universal about the flicker of a candle flame that seems to speak to my soul and reminds me that I’m doing important sacred work in mothering. Throughout our day, the candle burns, and as I smell it’s sweet scent and see it’s warm glow, I’m reminded of all that is light in the incredibly hard work I’m doing by raising these girls into women.
When the preschooler spills her cereal.
When the toddler has a meltdown.
When I’m pacing the floor bouncing a teething baby.
When lunch burns on the stovetop.
When no one will lay down for nap.
The candle still burns; its gentle encouragement shining its light throughout my home. Its flicker whispering, “You’ve got this. You’re doing this. You’re not alone. Mothers all over the world are doing this hard work too.” For me, lighting a candle does so much more than create an inviting and cozy environment. It truly transforms my home into a safe and sacred place and transforms me to be more in line with the mother I want to be. Patient. Calm. Gentle. It’s strong and bright flame encourages me to be the strong, bright light in my home instead of becoming the cranky and defeated mama which sometimes is honestly the easier route to take.
Just as the wick of a candle is constantly emerging from the weight of the wax to continue allowing the flame to burn brightly against the breeze, I am here to emerge from my bad days. I am here to burn brightly. And, so are you.
Comments
What a lovely outlook on life.